friend sent me an article about "Mormon Mommy Bloggers" this morning. He's read through all my past posts about bridal and baby showers, gardening, baking, cooking, and crafts. But the funny thing is, he met me post-Mormon. I don't do any of those things now. I'm a single mom in school. I rarely cook, turns out my green-thumb was less me and more Iowa's nutrient-rich top-soil, I don't have time to throw parties anymore, and I was only ever "ok" at crafting. And while I did enjoy all those things, they just aren't as much a part of my life anymore. I'm really only a Mormon by default - although technically there is a still record out there in the Mormon archives with my name on it - but I don't believe nor do I practice. I'm happily divorced. Instead of ribbons and bows and homemade jewelry, I sport short hair, extra piercings, tattoos, and uncovered shoulders and knees. I know those old posts seemed like my life was awesome and happy - especially compared to now and my more recent posts - but the truth is, I was hiding the most important part of my life: the humanity. I don't do that anymore, and it turns out, I'm happier. Not that I wasn't then, because I was. I'm one of those lucky people who is just naturally happy. I've pretty much been happy my entire adult life. But those old posts hide the most important and hardest things I've ever done. And that's incredibly sad. You know what else is incredibly sad? That I don't have more posts during my transition from there to here. Perhaps I'll tell some of those stories. I wanted to tell those stories when they were happening, but I didn't. I was afraid of hurting my family and friends. Turns out, it happened anyway. And I really wanted to talk about all the really hard and traumatic things that happened during the "good" years, but I didn't. They're important to tell, I think. Perhaps they're still important tell.