It's winter in Iowa and the gentle breezes blow,
seventy miles an hour at twenty-five below.
Oh, how I love Iowa when the snow's up to your butt;
You take a breath of winter and your nose gets frozen shut.
Yes, the weather here is wonderful. So I guess I'll hang around,
I could never leave Iowa because I'm frozen to the ground!
PS - I can't take credit for this, I found it on the Internet awhile ago and thought it was cute, so I saved it, but of course, I didn't write down a source or anything.